Always the Crazies
by Patricia de Lioncourt
Summary: Drabble series and abbreviated sequel to Crimson Princess.  What happens when a certain vampire decides to stir up trouble in Gotham once again?
1. Always the Crazies

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Batman. Buffy and related characters belong to Whedon. Batman and related characters belong to DC and WB.

Originally for TwistedShorts August Fic-a-Day Challenge (Day 03)

A/N: This is a sort of companion to a chaptered fic I did long ago called Crimson Princess. Other than after the end of the Buffy series, there's no particular setting for Batman. There will be two other drabbles following this one, and it sort of makes this series the sequel to Crimson Princess. If you want to read those, you can just add this one to story alerts, because I'll be adding the other two drabbles on as chapters. Always the Crazies is the title of the first drabble.

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**Always the Crazies**

Joker, when outside of Arkham, was rarely alone. It was very nearly a constant parade of henchmen and Harley, cycling through at his side. So, on the second evening past his most recent escape—sans Harley—it was kind of nice to be utterly alone in his new, abandoned warehouse hideout. If he were any other person, it might have been unsettling to be all by himself in a large, dirty old building. But he saw it as a kind of reprieve.

But, of course, this mini madman vacation was not to last.

He had barely leaned back in the purple, ratty recliner he had found before he could hear someone walking toward him. He sat upright, putting his hand on the handle of the gun he kept in his inner jacket pocket. The sound of music, of humming, reached his ears long before he saw its host. But he did not need to guess at the owner. He recognized the voice well enough.

"You," the Clown Prince said as pale moonlight shined through the high windows and fell across the newcomer's face. "I'd take off. I'm not too fond of you, and you should see what I do to people I _like_."

A series of giggles spilled from his ruby lips following these words.

"Oh, but I missed my little jester," Drusilla said, her voice echoing around the room like the tinkling of small bells. "I missed the games we would play."

Joker shifted in his seat, his gun now fully visible. He might be insane and view the world from a view that was more than a little skewed… but he well remembered what "games" this little vampire liked to play with him.

"I don't like your kind of 'fun,' toots. Now amscray!"

He leveled the gun at her, but she smiled and twirled in her long red dress.

"Oh, silly, silly clown! You know what I am. I'm special, and that little ball of metal won't hurt little ol' me. And you're being mean. I've only come for playtime."

Joker's hand faltered. He remembered that bubbly blonde with the Bat telling the police that guns were useless. Joker didn't like feeling useless, but he was willing to bet that his special toxin didn't work on vampires either. Widening his grin, he shoved his gun back inside his jacket.

"Fine. What did you have in mind?"

Drusilla grinned and tiptoed closer to the grinning maniac.

"Sssh," she whispered, pressing a long, pale finger to her own crimson lips. "I've got a plan."

Joker crossed his arms. "Do tell."

She reached up, laying a hand on either of his shoulders, and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"I want to kill the Bat."

She danced away, twirling and twirling, speaking in a singsong-ed voice.

"He'd be so delicious! With all his justice and light and dark mixed… I've never had that mix before!"

"And you have a plan? Because I'll tell you one thing, Batman's harder to kill than a cockroach on steroids."

She stopped mid-dance to glance over her shoulder. "We crazies have to stick together. And you've never tried to eat him before, have you?"

Joker chuckled. To each their own, and his own were always the crazies. But they always had the best plans. And the idea of seeing Batman bleeding out from the neck while Joker did something utterly _hilarious_ to the rest of him was sounding better and better. He looked up to see Drusilla putting on the best pout he had seen since he last spoke with Harley.

"I was hopping you'd forgive me for playing with you so rough," she whimpered. "I'm really, really sorry."

Joker shrugged. "You help me go after the Bat… and we'll let bygones be bygones."

Drusilla's face instantly lit up, and she bounced up and down, clapping.

"Oh, goody, goody! This will be so much fun!"

Seeing the glee on the vampire's face caused a bout of manic laughter to rise in the Clown Prince's throat. So what if she had almost killed him the last time they met? She was his kind of people. And if she could get him close to killing the Bat—since, of course, he would take that honor for himself, no matter what she thought—then the more, merrier.

"All right, sweetheart, what's the plan? And I hope it's _funny_."

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End Notes: This one, and the two that will follow, are what I like to call the Abbreviated Sequel to Crimson Princess. This was just a snippet of Joker and Drusilla fun. I hope everyone enjoyed! Please review!


	2. Thing for the Crazies

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Batman. Buffy and related characters belong to Whedon. Batman and related characters belong to DC and WB.

Originally for TwistedShorts August Fic-a-Day Challenge (Day 04)

A/N: This is a sort of companion to a chaptered fic I did long ago called Crimson Princess. Other than after the end of the Buffy series, there's no particular setting for Batman. These were originally separate one-shots, but I decided to combine them here for easier finding. So, here's one-shot number two in the Abbreviated Sequel to Crimson Princess!

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**Thing for the Crazies**

"Talk!" Harley shouted, smacking the handle of her over-large pistol against his shoulder.

Xander cried out, turning his head away from the blow. For the past few hours, he'd been drifting in and out between states of extreme pain and trying to figure out how the hell he always ended up being someone's butt-monkey. A simple reconnaissance trip to Gotham to make sure that nothing else in the realm of the supernatural had risen since last Buffy had been there… and this is what he had gotten. One lousy vamp dusting, and Mrs. Crazy-Jester-Woman had thought he would, apparently, have an all-knowing fount of knowledge on her "Mistah J." Buffy had warned Xander about the Joker and his little girlfriend, but he had been sure that his little mission for the slayers would not lead him anywhere close to that little devious duo.

Oh, how wrong he had been.

"Where's my puddin'?" Harley whined now, aiming a hard kick at his left shin.

That blow really stung, for some reason, more than full-out hurt. But Xander still got the point. He spat out a tiny bit of blood from a previous hit, and shook his head.

"Why in the world would I know where the _Joker_ is at? I didn't even know he was missing!" he shouted, his one eye widened in exasperation.

Harley huffed, shaking her head.

"I saw you kill that thing. Like that one woman did when she visited. I think something has my puddin', and I want him found and safe. Now, talk!"

The butt of the gun collided with Xander's temple, and for several moments, all he could see was stars. Apparently, Harley realized that she had hit him a little harder than needed as she backed off a bit, bending to look at him right in the eye.

"Oh, come on," she said. "I peeked under that eye patch while you were out. I _know_ you've handled worse than this."

Okay, so sympathy not present. Xander shook his head, clearing the faint ringing from his ears.

"Look. All the cards on the table. I don't know where Joker's at. I didn't know he was missing. I was sent here for an entirely different reason, and I don't even know why you think vampires are involved with that clown's disappearance."

He shuddered a bit at the mention of "clowns" but in a moment of pride, shook off the fear. Harley pouted, leaning up to place her hands on her hips.

"I know that vampires are involved because I saw Mistah J with one! A brunette chickie in a red dress who talked a lot about stars."

Drusilla was back in Gotham? Xander filed that way for when he next saw Buffy, and glared up at Harley, spitting a little bit more of the iron-tasting blood out.

"You _saw_ him with this vampire?"

"Uh-huh."

"And you're asking _me_ where he is and if he's okay?"

"Well…"

"Argh!" he cried out, so angry that he was actually bouncing the chair he was bound to around the concrete factory floor. "Why do I always attract the crazy ones? What, have I got a messed up pheromone or something? If you _saw_ him with this vampire somewhere, why don't you just _start_ there!"

"Huh," Harley said, pressing a gloved finger to her ebony lips in thought. "You know, you've got a point. Didn't think about trying to track the vampire. Thanks, sweetie!"

She leaned down and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"For this, I'll let you live. See ya!"

With a couple of colorful cartwheels, she disappeared out of sight and, presumably, out of the factory. Xander, still tightly bound to the very uncomfortable wooden chair, sighed.

"Great. Just great. Well, I better find a way out of here," he murmured to himself.

After all, neither Batman nor Willow knew he was missing. Summoning his strength, he began to hop, loudly, around the factory floor.

"And there goes my night. So much for sightseeing."

Next time Buffy needed something done in Gotham, he would be sure not to volunteer again.

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End Notes: Little comedy here. There's one more part to this Abbreviated Sequel, and I'll try to get that out a little faster than I got this one out. Please review!


	3. Expecting the Unexpected

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Batman: the Animated Series. Buffy and related characters belong to Whedon. Batman and related characters belong to WB and DC Comics.

Originally for TwistedShorts August Fic-a-Day Challenge (Day 19)

A/N: The last in the Crimson Princess Abbreviated Sequel. The setting for this is post Season 7 Buffy and there's not really a particular setting for the Batman: TAS. And I apologize for the quality of this fic… I wasn't feeling 100% when I wrote it. I tried to edit it as best I could. Enjoy!

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**Expecting the Unexpected**

It was a trap. Batman wasn't known as a detective for nothing. He could spot a trap a mile away, and these recent events practically screamed it.

Joker and the vampire who had referred to herself as The Crimson Princess—otherwise known as Drusilla—had done little to hide their destructive tour of Gotham. Orphanages, hospitals, the GCPD, nothing was sacred. They had left a trail of Joker's "happy" faces and blood behind them. And now the trail had ended… at the Old Ritz Theatre—which was known for its old comedy tours.

Batman knew that the clown and the vampire were expecting him. After all, all this destruction was for him. He slipped quietly through the skylight of the building, shadow masking his graceful movements.

He could see them below. Joker was seated upon his ego-boosting throne while Drusilla was twirling and twirling in the middle of the wide open floor. Joker was chuckling, but he looked more than a little annoyed that the vampire would not stop moving. Finally, she came to an abrupt stop, the skirt of her black dress wrapping about her legs for a moment. She stretched her lips into her own crimson smile and tiptoed nearer to Joker. She covered his ear and leaned forward so that Batman could not see her lips. Whatever she had said had pleased the Clown Prince, because he started to cackle merrily.

Batman leaned down ever so slightly from his spot on the rafters. Moments too late, he saw the Joker's eyes lift to his as the clown's gloved thumb jabbed into a hidden button on the armrest of his throne. A tiny explosion rocked the beam on which the Dark Knight stood, and with a small cry, he—along with several bits of debris—came crashing to the floor.

"Oh, look, my pretty clown! Our guest of honor has arrived just in time," Drusilla said in singsong, causing Joker to lift a brow.

"Well, well, I do believe I had a bat in my belfry. But no worries, Batsy. You're just the winged rodent we wanted to see."

Drusilla's face morphed into its more demonic state, and she began to slink in, her eyes trained on Batman's neck. But Joker stepped in front, holding up two hands.

"And what, pray tell, are you doing, my dear?"

"I'm killing the Bat… like I said I wanted to," she said, her head cocked to one side.

Joker's grin widened as he pulled a wooden cross from his jacket.

"You see, that's where I'm afraid you're mistaken. Only _I_ can kill Batman. Everyone knows it. So, sorry, Toots, but I think I'll take this one."

He removed a long barreled gun from his jacket as well, aiming it right at Batman's forehead.

"No!" Drusilla screeched, grabbing the Joker and hurling him behind her—the pain the cross caused be damned.

He managed to clamber to his feet before she could be on him again, and he raised the cross up. A small trickle of blood leaked from his left nostril as he grimaced.

"That's not _nice_," he hissed.

Batman took his opportunity to stand. Crossing his arms, he _tsk_ed loudly. Drusilla and Joker both turned to stare at him. He sighed.

"You've both underestimated one very important thing."

Drusilla's eyes narrowed as Joker huffed.

"And what's that?"

"I knew it was a trap."

Drusilla gasped as Joker was suddenly hurled over her head, landing—unconscious—a few feet from Batman. The vampire whirled only to find a grinning Buffy Summers standing there.

"And he knows how to set a trap of his own," the vampire slayer grinned.

Drusilla let out a high pitched whine, shaking her head.

"Gotham's no fun!"

She turned, running away into the shadows of the theatre. Batman's eyes narrowed.

"Aren't you going to go after her?"

Buffy shook her head. "No need too. I brought backup. My slayers are all around here."

The blonde slayer strode over to where the Dark Knight stood, chuckling as she looked down at the heap that was the Joker.

"I hope I didn't throw him too hard."

Batman smirked. "Don't worry about it. And thank you for showing up on such short notice."

Buffy laughed. "Hey, I should be thanking you. After all, you're the one who found Xander tied in that factory."

Batman nodded, lifting his eyes toward the growing sound of fighting outside the building.

"Do you think, if Drusilla manages to slip past your slayers, that she'll come back?"

The slayer shrugged. "I don't know. But if she does… you've got my number."

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End Notes: To clarify, I have no further intentions to bring Drusilla back to Gotham. Well, not in this world, anyhow. I hope everyone enjoyed this. Please review!


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